My Random Thoughts

When someone tells me "NO!", do I sit & cry about it. NO! Because No! is the motivation that is apart of the steering wheel of my life.

Over the last 6 months, all the drama & disappointment that I've had to experience has made me somewhat TOUGHER. People (especially in my life) are always telling me that "I can't do this" & "You should do this" or "No, do things this way".... blah blah blah.

Puppetry (being a puppet) is something that I'm really not too fond of and never have.

(I think that's where my 1st semester roommate messed up at. She thought I would be the follower or worshiper of her. lol. Uh, No! And I did tell her about herself for that. That's probably why she said "I hate you, Kiarra".) childish eh.?! (*sidenote*I did absolutely nothing to her but be nice to her for those 5 entire months.)

Anyways. For some reason, certain people (won't say who) have been having the upper hand and the major say-so in my life for going on as long as...just too damn long... I think that it is about that time that I retaliate. No, not with violence or anything. (I'm too scary & nice for that). lol.

I won't rebel but I'm thinking that I might retaliate with so much self-confidence & determination for every single thing that they are going to not know that what the hell is going on with me. On this journey, I'm going to continue to let them know how things are going to be whether they like it or not because enough is enough. And I don't care anymore.

Anyways #2. Since people have had the upper hand in my life for the past few months, my life on scale of 1 to 10 has declined from #10 to #4. This decline has occurred all in a matter of 5-6 months. I'm officially tired of it. 2009 (yes, '09) is the first time EVER in my life that I've allowed other people to determine the outcome for something so major & for something that means to much to me.

A couple weeks ago, my friend & I were having a conversation & she asked a question about a huge decision that was made in my life & about what exactly happened. I told her that the decision that was so obviously drastic that was made was absolutely not my fault or decision. And also that I'm just rolling with this to make other people happy.

MyComment about that it is now stupid in my mind, yo. And now as I'm typing this, *I'm thinking*, how can I make someone else happy by doing 'what they want' & I'm not happy with it. I'm supposed to be the one happy with my own life. Now I don't understand. idk.

And if anyone wants to blame anyone for how motivated I am,

Blame it on "Rev. Run",

for sending me those wonderful "Words of Wisdom" every morning at 8am to my phone's email and giving me some type of inspiration & motivation to start my day.